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Wee Wee Mannie and the Big Big Coo.

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Next Story 		This story begins, as all good Scottish stories do, about three hundred years ago, on the moors in Scotland. Deep in the Highlands, in a bitty crofter's cottage, there lived a wee wee mannie, his kind auld mither and their Big, big coo. One day, the mither wished to bake a cake, so she said to her mannie "Go out to the shed with your pail, and fetch me a wee bit of milk."

And so, the wee wee mannie took his pail, and went out to the shed, and said to the Big, big coo,

My mither wishes to bake a bake,

so if you please, some milk I'll take."

But the coo was a mean contrary beast and did not wish to be milked, so she lowered her horns and would not be milked. The wee wee mannie went back to his mither and said, "Mither, I've asked big big coo nicely for some milk, but big big coo will not be milked, and what is a poor mannie to do?"

And his mither replied "Hout!, such a mean, contrary beast. You will have to show her who is boss. Take a big big stick and shake it at the big big coo, and demand that she give you milk."

So, off went the mannie to the shed and said,

"Big big coo, you must stand still,

or my big stick I'll make you feel!"

But the big big coo only lowered her horns, stomped her foot, and would not be milked. So, the wee wee mannie went back to his mither and said, "Mither, I've asked big big coo nicely for some milk, I've shooken a big big stick at her, but big big coo will not be milked, and what is a poor mannie to do?"

And his mither replied "Hout!, such a mean, contrary beast! You shall have to bribe her. Go to the market and purchase a gown of finest silk, tell the coo she may have it if she'll give you some milk."

So, off went the mannie to the shed and said,

"Oh please, oh please, might I have some milk,

in return, you may have this gown of silk."

But the big big coo only lowered her horns, stomped her foot, swished her tail and would not be milked. So, the wee wee mannie went back to his mither and said, "Mither, I've asked big big coo nicely for some milk, I've shooken a big big stick at her, I've bribed her with a gown of finest silk, but big big coo will not be milked, and what is a poor mannie to do?"

And his mither replied "Hout!, such a mean, contrary beast! You shall have to soften her hard hard heart. Go and tell that mean old beast that there is a beautiful lassie sittin' by the roadside weeping for a drop of milk to drink."

So, off went the mannie to the shed and said,

"There is a sweet sweet lassie with beautiful golden hair

she's all worn out with walkin' and weeps a sittin' there

twould make you weep in buckets if you were just to think,

she's weepin, weepin, weepin for a drop of milk to drink."

But the big big coo only lowered her horns, stomped her foot, swished her tail, bellowed out loudly and would not be milked. So, the wee wee mannie went back to his mither and said, "Mither, I've asked big big coo nicely for some milk, I've shooken a big big stick at her, I've bribed her with a gown of finest silk, I've tried to soften her hard hard heart but big big coo will not be milked, and what is a poor mannie to do?"

And his mither replied "Hout!, such a mean, contrary beast! She will never do what she thinks you want her to do, she'll only do what she thinks you don't want her to do. Go and tell that mean old beast that you do not intend to milk her no matter how she begs."

So off went the wee wee mannie to the shed and said,

"I have decided, your milk is sour,

I'd not milk you if you begged an hour,

so don't just stand there still I say,

I bid you kick and rear all day!"

And at those words, the big contrary coo stood still. Horns, hoofs, tail, voice all still. And the wee wee mannie milked the big big coo for the sweet sweet lassie by the roadside. And the big big coo never acted that way again... until the next time.